June 20, 2009
Sales, Pails, and, By God, Them Damn Stair Rails
Jeez, it’s been two and a half months since my last post, and I must say that I have missed WordPress something terrible.
I have major news, upon news, upon some more news! I sold my business to a franchise, one with Book in its title. I couldn’t be more happy with the money I made, but I will be sad to watch it go. I made a deal for my current employees to either get jobs with this new company or get some great looking severance checks. I know how to take care of my peeps. I was caught by a neighbor on the street the other day; she told me that the block wouldn’t be the same without me and my book rentals and Friday and Saturday coffee and breakfast sales. I have no idea what I am going to do once the store is truly no longer mine. Sleep? and uninstall Quickbooks?! lol btw, I reassured Jesse that not only would I keep her on my payroll until I was finished with the store and gone, but I would also help her get another good job with fabulous recommendations and such. I really should’ve gone it Public Relations.
Next item: Bella’s wedding weekend on Jekyll Island was fabulous, except for the fact that Skippy and I got in this HUGE fight the day before we were supposed to drive down there and he didn’t go. We were fighting because he did not want me to sell my business and I didn’t want him to go to an interview in D.C. for the government. When I got back, he let my hangover wear off before we began the discussion over. He listened to my business and eventually agreed it was probably the smartest thing for me to do. I listened to him and still fussed with him over getting a job based in Washington. Eventually, he agreed to stick with his at-home work until he could find something better in GA. The whole stay-at-home all the time working is getting to him.
Anyways, the wedding was great. we drank and partied and got sand everwhere. I got tanner, Halley got redder, and Bella got high after the reception and went skinny dipping. Good times… Bella’s wedding reminded me of the summer we all graduated, or what I remember of it 😀 The waiter did look a lot like this guy that i had spent the week with at his condo…
More news: We are moving. I will go ahead and forewarn you of future bitching about Scott’s inability to handle moving, no matter how much he wants it. At first, we were debating a country house closer to his family on the GA/AL border, but then I fell in love with this townhouse in the historic district of Savannah and that was all she wrote. Who cares that we’re paying an ungodly amount of money for a 1/4 acre! It’s 30 frickin minutes to Tybee and the beach! And, for an hour more we could go to the more private islands. I am so damn excited to go back to Savannah, and to make things better, we are nowhere near my mother or sisters! Hot Damn how lucky! I hate that the fireplaces are closed up but fell for the built-in bookshelves!!! I thinking of either getting a job at a library or something of the other. Also, I found the website that Skip’s been looking for jobs on and there is an opening for a budget analyst for the Army near where we are moving. Coincidence or fate? 🙂
Hauser has been dropping by at very inopportune times to remind me that he has a business associate down in Savannah and will be visiting us. I continue to remind him that no time in the near century will I be leaving Scott for him, no matter how much he tries. However, I’ve gotta watch out for him. Hauser’s like the ugly puppy that you end up letting in just cause it is relentless, but Hauser is not ugly in any way.
I’m off to go back to the store to continue to go through the books to filch the ones I wanted.
March 30, 2009
A Little Insight Goes A Long Way…
I don’t like seeing my own flaws in somebody else’s life… I don’t think anybody does. It emphasizes them, hyperbolizes them, and just drives me effing crazy! I watched Sex & The City (The movie) tonight, and although I loved it, I noticed one too many things in it that mirrored myself. Yeah, the shoes made me drool. I swear I said, “I love her shoes!” every scene change, which equated to every 3-5 minutes 😀
Anyway, never have I ever watched a movie that hit me so close to home that I wanted to cry. The last time I cried during a movie, I was watching Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron with my niece. No lie. However, the whoel thing between Carrie and Big with his fear of commitment and her taking over was just… made me think- except I couldn’t think because I was speechless. I just sat there, on the couch in my pjs and bridesmaid shoes (get there in a minute), forcing myself not to cry and/or point this out to Skip, who was in the office arguing with his accountant. However, I do believe the gender roles have reversed, which both freaks me out and makes me relieved that I am not the selfish one (*cough* I used to be though…).
I do believe this week will be a time of self-evaluation. I am going to take a good look at myself, and I will figure out what the F&!$ is going on that makes me so unhappy sometimes. At least I am not Samantha, ’cause I don’t think I could give up Bubby the way she broke up with her guy. After the movie ended (and I drained my wineglass), I tossed myself into Scott’s lap, kissed him, and told him that I was never going to leave him.
He laughed, made some highly raunchy remark about me showing up in his lap drunk, and then kissed me back saying something that I will never forget. “I would let you go if it made you happy, but I thank heaven everyday that you’re happy with me.” Isn’t he the best? I think that’s why I get into these funks. I feel like I don’t deserve a man who can be both demanding in what he wants, but he also gives in order to not scare me away. Personally, I have horrible timing and give when I’m supposed to demand and vice versa.
On a shallower note, my bridesmaid shoes are the shit. I don’t know why I never bought these shoes before, but they are mine now! I went a little crazy with the Blahnik’s because I bought three pairs of shoes, officially killing any thought of a spring vacation that I had been having. Blahnik is officially my favorite… well it’s a tight race with Louboutin and a few others 😀
These are for the wedding. They were cheap compared to the other 2 that I got, and I have a thing for high heels with ankle straps. Besides, I’d rather have on shoes that it’s easy to get sand out of than have on pumps and still be shaking out sand 6 months later.
I will find a reason to wear these; I’ve seen some just like them and pined over them ever since they came out.
I finally got something in animal print. I feel so dirty for following this trend, but I look so good in them that any trend-following woe is instantly canceled out.
You do not want to know just how close I came to buying these babies, but they were too much of a star in Sex & the City… it went to their head 🙂
With my obsession, I might as well start a fashion blog and throw in a personal post once a month. That’s what it feels like I do sometimes. I am now broke; Scott says I wear broke well… the ass. lol He won’t be laughing when he’s paying the rent next month, I’ll tell you now.
It’s amazing how we still haven’t merged our finances. I think we haven’t done so yet because he doesn’t want me to know just how Richie Rich he be, and I don’t want him to know that I have been slowly dabbling in my inheritance and not paying myself out of the bookstore. Bad economic times suck ass! This’ll be the last shoe binge I do for quite a while, which sucks. I am a shoe addict and proud of it. I can vintage clothing store shop like a pro mofo, but shoes are sacred. They go on your feet for God’s sake! I don’t want something on my feet that somebody else wore doing only God knows what. Boys and girls, I had to burst your bubbles but, you cannot get “life” out of satin pumps.
Side note: Bella, Halley, when you read this, voicemail swear your silence, love you guys 🙂
Off to watch Twilight again… don’t even get me started on this one. 😀
Too bad I can’t be the woman who lives in a shoe (but no kids cause one would be more than what I would know what to do with ), cause then I would have more homes than Brad and Angelina.
December 31, 2008
Top 5 of 2008
Top 5 WTF! books that I read in 2008:
- 5.) Star by Pamela Anderson. For real! A book about her but with a different name. Not recommended for anybody really, but especially not for those with the maturaity level below about 20.
- 4.) Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. Also watched the movie. It was… weird, of course, but the movie has quite a few moments of hilarity and aww!ness.
- 3.) Atonement by Ian McEwan. Loved the book and the movie. Yummy James MacAvoy!! The twist made it! Made me cry, but well worth the tears.
- 2.) Mr. Darcy Takes A Wife by Linda Berdoll. I read this on whim because a loyal customer referred me to it when she noticed my well-worn copy of Pride And Prejudice. Woah, Mama! It made me laugh, blush, and quite speechless. A bit too far into romance novels for my taste, but a good read as it may have incited some similar goings-on with me and my beloved. Whew!
- and- *dun dun dun* 1.) The Twilight Series. I know it’s more than one book, but it would have conquered my list if I had listed them seperately! I mean seriously, People! WTF!! I got them for my niece, and she was all, “Enh… I read it when it first came out.” and was not into the hype like so many other girls her age. High school Musical is one thing (and don’t get me started on it), but vampires… in high school… *sigh* I am one of the biggest vamp fans if you were to ask me about authors such as Charlaine Harris, Laurell K. Hamilton, and other such other great writers, but not when it comes to “young” vampires. *steps down from soapbox* I shutup now.
Ladeedah. I’m in Savannah again for New Year’s. However, I am not happy, nor will I be partaking in any festivities. I found out today that my father had been married once already when he and my mother got together. The secrets, they shall be revealed to me!!!
September 7, 2008
Like Putting A Man On the Moon
I’m sure NASA had less trouble out of Armstrong than I’ve had with Scott. We’ve been moving him into my apartment over the past two weeks, and well… he’s an asshole under pressure. He goes postal over some things and I just lean against the wall and let the temper tantrum fizzle out. Our roles have reversed somehow. It might be that since I’ve been exercising in the evenings again, I’ve become more mellowed out while he’s always wired about something. He’s a lot more spontaneous now. Just to give you a tiny, non-described, example, last week he picked me up for lunch and we went home (wink wink). I mean… OH MY GOD!!! It was crazy and made me feel like I was skipping school to make out behind the gym!
Anyway, his apartment is almost empty, and most of the garbage in the dumpster behind the apartment building is ours. He lived there 6 months maybe and accumulated more junk and stuff than I did in 4 years of college. I’m too exhausted to go running, but I must show discipline and go anyways.
I really hate that with all the stuff going on that I can’t remember to come on here ‘cuz I miss it every time I think about it, but then somebody calls me out of my office, or Scott finds a box of stuff under the couch (?) and I have to get off the computer. Scott even complains that I don’t reply to his IMs, and I’m like, “What?! I barely have time for voicemail, where do you find the time for IMs?”
On a darker note, I had a vist from Halley’s brother-in-law. My hands got cold and I swear I heard that evil witch cackle when he walked into the store. “Can we talk?” He asked sternly; I suppressed a shudder and nodded.
“Father Brother” as Halley tends to call him spent 30 frickin’ minutes lecturing me on the life choices I was making… until Jesse saved me with some hooha about a problem with an order. He made like he was going to keep going. I clenched my fist to keep from punching him in his G.D. condesceding, judgemental face and said, “Look, I know your married and extremely religious, but the day I take YOUR inexperienced advice is the day the Pope gets married and Clinton gets divorced.” The guy is almost 5 years younger than me!!
He shook his head and left, murmuring a prayer in Latin; he also might’ve called me a bitch, but I won’t go there. I didn’t tell Scott, and I really don’t plan to. I told Halley about it, and when she finished laughing, she promised to yell at Edward about it, who in turn who put the ever-lovin’ beatin’ on his little brother.
The male species in general, is flawed. I mean they judge, they jump to conclusions, and they tend to be hippocritical in the worst of times. However, they do have their uses, which Skippy has been making especially known….. 😀
Oh lord, he just found something in the dryer that I really didn’t want him to find until his birthday… and he’s insisting I “shut the damn computer off” and show him a “VERY Happy Birthday.” What a horn dog!! LOL
July 29, 2008
Guilty Of Blog Neglect
My laptop has been out of commission since… when was the last post I wrote? I’ve been suffering from withdrawal like a cokewhore stuck with a very expensive bag of powdered sugar. I don’t know how I survived before I got this man-made beauty because I surely can’t survive without it now apparently. I had to do all my orders over the phone and with a tree’s-worth of legal pads. I guess it was a goods thing you readers did not get to witness this meltdown of my humanity and social acceptance… It was not pretty lol
I admit that my behavior was horrible, and as soon as I got my precious laptop back from the techies that I beg and flirt with to fix my stuff, I rehired Jesse because she had quit, and gave everyone a slight raise to stay. Things are smoothed over now, but they walk around like there are random landmines strewn under the floor. I think they are expecting another episode of Lina: Homicidal Bitch and Tyrant.
It also helps that I closed up shop for a day or two, giving us all a much needed cooling down day. I went down to Jekyll Island with the chicas and cooked my face on the beach. Water-proof sunblock my ass. Now I got the perfect color to end the vacation season and more shot glasses for my collection. Yes, I have a collection of shotglasses. I buy one every time I go somewhere new. I stole on from a bar in Greece since I couldn’t find a gift shop in the tiny village we docked at.
Scott handled it all surprisingly well. He cooked and didn’t make any type of his typical remarks when I bitched. He was, and is still being, well-rewarded for the trouble. wink wink I think I may still blow his mind yet. lol
I missed everybody and wonder how you all are doing!!
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Why, oh why, does my skin peel so?! 😀
June 27, 2008
Back On The Land Of My Father
This week has probably been the best and worst in my life. We almost missed our flight on Sunday, our yacht sailed into the tiny little harbor (one dock and some small fishing boats tied to it) over four hours late. However, once we had our supplies and were in the luxory home-at-sea, it was smooth sailing. I changed into my black bikini and then promptly slipped and busted my ass when Scott looked over at me and swerved the boat. I’m still sporting a bruised buttcheek.
I’m betting you would love to see pictures of Scott and me soaking up the sun and the beautiful village we used as our homeport, but around Thursday evening, when Scott and I were on our way back to the boat from a day trip into Thessaloniki that became a night life experience, I stumbled and my camera was lost to the depths. I was yelling, mostly at myself, and Scott just barely managed to restrain me from diving after the precious Kodak memories. He told me that as drunk as I was that I probably would’ve drowned.
The whole thing was great. Great waters, wonderful views, heavenly food, and oh! the people. If it weren’t for Rick Steves and myself, along with this wonderful merchant’s son (Greek God descendant I tell ya), we wouldn’t have survived. I’m tanner and was more relaxed than I have ever been in my life, and Scott… well let’s just say that he’s more than satisfied and has agreed to not complain about money anymore. Other than that one day in the city and short stops for food and gas, we spent the entire trip on the yacht. Whether it was trying to fish, swim until we were ready to pass out, or just stay in the master cabin and enjoy each other’s company 😀 , that was the best planned, and the most fun, disaster ever. I’m pretty sure that’s what Scott’s and my life together will be. Planned disasters lol
The trip was cut short on Friday though, and we took the nearest flight back into Atlanta, hearts and suitcases full. If only you could see the things I found in Thessaloniki! However, I adamantly refuse to ruin a good blog post with sadness, so it will be next time when I know more.
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Here lies a memorial for those moments that have been lost in the line of duty. Lady Sea can be so beautiful… and so cruel to technology
June 4, 2008
Banana-na-na-na…Dammit
Ever written down the word banana and kept going? Yeah, that’s me. Writing it is bad enough, but have you ever not stopped while saying this accursed word?
I went out with Halley and Bella last night. They berated me for not calling or stopping by, and the fact that they only know what’s going on in my life by reading the blog. Then we shared a laugh and all was right again.
Bella is freakin’ huge!… Well, compared to how skinny she was before (damn her and her athletic build. lol) Her doctor made her gain weight because he was afraid of her becoming anemic or the baby not getting enough nutrition. When I asked her if she knew what the gender was, she grinned and refused to tell me.
I filled them in on Skinny Me and her bag of issues. I thought Halley was going to permanently become a lovely shade of red as she laughed. Bella just smiled, but I knew she had had such problems in the past, so college antics and youngster angst is not really as hilarious to her as it is to such extreme cynics/loud-mouths as Halley and myself.
The three of us ate a fabulous dinner at Halley’s new place. Her and Edward had bought an old plantation style home outside of the city. She finally quit her lousy job at that gallery and is teaching art history at a tiny college and teaches small art classes once a week. She’s also back to working on her own artwork rather than selling someone else’s.
It turns out Bella left the intern program back at the beginning of May. She said her resident cried when she told him that she was leaving to be a housewife (getting married on Halloween!) and mother for a while. She said she wants to go into pediatrics when the baby gets a little older. She’s totally fearless, my girl. “I love the changes and the fact that it won’t be all about me and Jackson (that’s his full name) anymore. However, I hate that my body isn’t entirely mine now. I’m sharing it with another human being and periodically a doctor examines my very personal areas.”
Halley and I just stared; she beat me to the retort. “You’re a doctor who examines other people’s personal areas. What the hell?” This started us laughing, which made Edward stick his head out of the office. “I don’t wanna know, do I?” He asked smiling.
“Go back to your numbers Teddie Bear and leave us women to our gossip and sensitive-topic conversations.” Halley commented as she poured me and her more margaritas. Aaah, I love maragaritas.
“What kind of fruit do you have?” Bella asked, out of the blue.
“There’s some strawberries, sliced pineapple, and I made Eddie my famous Banana pudding last night because he was craving it and wouldn’t leave me alone until I helped him make it.”
I was half in the hole by this time, mostly because I hadn’t had a good margarita in ages, but i perked up instantly- or instantly with a delay and a slurr on it. 🙂 “You made that pudding?! Can I have some?” Even in my indisposed state, I never should have said anything about it; Halley got that evil little glint in her eyes. “What kind of pudding is it?”
I floundered. “You know what it is! You just said it.”
She chuckled. Halley was an evil supervillain in a past life… or an interrogater for the government. “You have to say what kind it is before you get any.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to say it and she knew that. But, I also really wanted some of her homemade “Nanner Pudding.” I could feel it calling my name. That perfect yellow fruit, the vannila cookies, the whipped cream, and the heavenly pudding from scratch were pulling me like a giant magnet. “Halley, give me some of your damned banana-na pudding before I drown you in my margarita.”
She roared with laughter, causing Bella to join in, and Eddie to leave the office to stare at his insanely malicious wife. I stood up, a little unsteady, and dropped a huge ice cube down her bra as I walked away.
I demolished a large percentage of that pudding, leaving Eddie looking like somebody ran over his new bike the day after Christmas and my stomach communicating much hatred later. Let’s just say I slept on the floor beside the bed to keep the tilting room from making me lose my much earned prize.
btw, *sing song voice* I’m going on vacation! Sand, water, and a half-naked Scottie boy! We haven’t decided on the exact venue for our first summer vacay together, but I am leaning on either the Florida Keys or renting a boat in Greece. Hmm, or maybe Hawaii, or the Phillipines, ooh or New Zealand? Damn! I hate making decisions…. but I do love Greece,
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Revenge is best served cold… on ice
May 29, 2008
Fresh Out:
- of energy
- of remote batteries and I sure ain’t getting my ass butt up to change the channel
- of milk, juice, and gatorade
- of get-up-and-go
- of good thoughts to develop
- of tissues
- of stupid soap operas to make fun of
- …now toilet paper
- of clean clothes (that aren’t my nice, saved for special occasion clothes)
- of patience with my mp3 player
- of Advil
- of sick days (good thing I’M the boss)
- of books that I haven’t read yet
- of IOU’s from Scott (“but Bubby please rub my head… it Hurts!”)
- of alcohol (NOOOO!!!) lol
- of empty trash cans
- of Jello and soup
- of ammunition in which to kill Dollar Menus on GTA IV (man, where are those pages of code cheats?!)
- of bad vibes (I sent them all to the producers of day-time television)
- of the dryer and now wrapped around my body
Staying home sick is no fun when your significant other is on an important deadline at work and his sister is out on a “day date” with some dude from the bar.
I swear if she gets over Awkward (see Tears, Beers, and Somebody else’s Fears) this quickly and starts dating Eau de OMG (like that nickname do ya?) 😀 I will have to brain her with my trash can full of tissues. Enough about her. This post is a homage to self-pity, boredom, and snotty noses.
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Allergies be Damned!! 🙂
May 28, 2008
You Don’t Need A Reason To Celebrate!
My blog hit 2000!!! Wahoo! I pushed Skinny Me out of the bed and into the shower, shouting at her through the bathroom door to dress to impress becuase we were celebrating.
“Celebrating what, Picante?” Scott asked from the hall, where he had been taking out the trash.
I back-peddled quickly, not wanting to blow my secret identity out of the water. I like my freedom to say what I want. “We’re celebrating [Skinny Me] being here and all of us being successful, healthy and thriving!” I smacked his butt. “Go get sexy, bub.”
He pulled me back, coming This close to dislocating my shoulder because I was a millisecond into a dash/skip/dance something. “I already am sexy, and I would rather stay home and prove it to you.”
Que jelly legs and some hallway making out and we were off to get dressed for the night life. It’s been so nice at night lately (after the apocalyptic rain stopped) that I decided to wear a pair of short black shorts (made of suit fabric), a very cute red satin blouse that looked something like this:
Once out and about, I stuck to Scott’s side like a burr, giving off the distinct signal of “Back off Bitches! I bite!” like it was a neon side above my head. Scott seemed to be enjoying every minute of my non-verbal war with the single women of Atlanta as a whole. “This was a good idea,” He murmured in my ear, doing his own little non-verbal attack by whispering in my ear and making it look like something else entirely as a richly-dressed guy with graying hair and great smelling cologne was about to walk up.
“I’m glad I didn’t have to compete with these girls to get you to myself. It would not have been pretty in the end.” Skinny Me had disappeared by the bar, but I could tell by the laughing circle of young men that she was over there having a good time. “I guess [skinny me] gets over her depression pretty quickly.”
He shook his head, making his new idea -a sexy but scruffy goatee- brush against my neck. Good thing I was already leaning on him because my legs gave up on the pretense of being self-controlled. “It’s all an act so that she doesn’t ruin the night. She’s been on antidepressants since she was 17. Our parents kicked her out at 18 because she went off her meds and disappeared for a week, so I kind of became her only family.” He led me to a quiet-ish corner. “I went to her graduation, drove to Kentucky with her when she got into a college there, send her some money periodically, and help make a tuition payment every now and then when she gets bogged down. She works two regular jobs plus is a teacher’s aide/tutor when needed.” He looked into my eyes. “I’ve been keeping her balanced by flying her down here a couple of times a year. Plus, I know her psychologist very well by now.”
I stared over at the thinning circle, watching Skinny Me sip her Corona. I snuggled closer to Scott. “So, you must be the only normal one in your family, huh?”
He laughed. “Who says I’m normal? I’m a editor for a women’s magazine, living in 2 apartments at the same time, and am entirely addicted to sex.” I hit his arm. “Just kidding! Better worded, I’m crazy about you.”
We kissed and just stood there for a while, watching the hubbub around us.
“I think we’re a little to old- I mean mature- for these kind of clubs,” I said, laughing, a moment later. “Don’t you think we should be at one of those small, family-feeling pubs or privately-owned bars.”
“I agree, Picante. We are the old married couple sitting in the corner booth arguing over who will drive home and how crappy the Bulldogs are playing.” This earned him another hit on the arm.
We spent the rest of the evening dancing and making out in our little corner, only coming out for air and more drinks. To think I had one of the best nights of my life, and it didn’t involve utterly destroying my liver, talking to perfect strangers, or making a idiot of myself in the middle of the dancefloor. Maturity-ville, population: two… for now. 😀
May 25, 2008
Don’t You Know It? I’m A Poet!
As promised, here is the poem I wrote for Skinny Me. She happened to love it, and it seems I have a younger sister now. 🙂
Lovers Anonymous
My name is lonely.
I am addicted to you
Your touch, your laugh,
Your voice, your smile.
But you don’t know,
How I yearn for that connection.
I’m impatient.
Can’t wait for my next fix of you.
Obsessed?
Maybe
Addicted?
Definitely
Itching for that next moment.
Restless for that next touch.
Withdrawal is my symptom.
You are the disease and the cure.
Tell me what you think because I don’t know if I even like it. If I get any good reviews, who knows? I may even let Scott read it. He’s not big on poetry though, which is why I love him. There is no hidden meaning or questioning with him.
Simple Woman, Complicated Life 