01.25.09
Stone Cold Sober & Chilly
For those who I’ve worried with my hugemongo breakdown, I’m doing better. I am now going to work for small bits of time everyday and can sleep without the crying jag or inebriance. I still find myself staring off into lala land, ignoring people like someone’s gonna come by and drop another life changer on my head. Without the drink, I am now the coldest person in the Southeast. Thank goodness the warm air moved in for a little while to ease the breeze.
So, Scott took me on a shopping spree today. It was an internet spree since it was nasty out, but we got dressed for a public journey and sat at the coffee table eating his wonderful potato soup, which was such a flashback. See Official First Date. I haven’t been shopping in a month. Shocking, I know. Anyway, Scott said that we were celebrating Valentine’s Day early. I asked why, of course. I like my holidays where they are, chronological order and all. He looked a little sad and said that he’ll be in New York on business that entire week.
So, I had a cow. I flipped out since it is impossible for me to sleep without him now. I admit it, I am forever stuck on the big booger. He promised that he would have his phone on him at ALL times, and it was ok if I called and interrupted a meeting, no matter how important and such- even if it was just to hear his voice. I hugged him, and we proceeded to work out my budget for my comeback to the world of the living.
Which I blew the majority of at Victoria’s Secret and on a grand bag from Dooney & Bourke.
The Shoe Addict is back and will be kickin’ her heels as soon as these babies come in. I wish my legs looked like that in effing January! I admit I keep them looking good, but they are some pale sticks, albeit soft ones.
I mean, how can you not feel better when you’re struttin’ your stuff in these? Admittedly, this makes me look a little shallow, but I get my healing where I can. I got some very pretty, boyfriend-friendly, under garments. I just love vicky’s secret. So comfy but so sexy.
On a sour note, I have yet to turn my phone back on, and my personal email account is probably feeling very lonely. However, I just really don’t feel like talking to any of my family right now. Just like when my dad died, I will heal on my own with my non-biological family up here in Atlanta, where I belong. Halley and Bella had put me under suicide watch… when Scott wasn’t making sure I continued to take breaths, that is. They are the greatest. Edward sent over a cd of songs. A lot of it was country and about cheating or drinking. Got me to laughing at least. Jack’s contributions were to keep Baby Leigh (so Bella could come spend time with Halley and me) and some homemade Cheese Bread (he is quite the baker- when he gets the time).
They are the reason I got out of my funk. Besides the useless threats of doing harm upon my person and harmless jokes to get me to keep up a showering routine, they were there for me. Even Jesse showed up with a bottle of wine and a message from Ray. *sigh* I love redneck Ray. I figured I had way too much to live for to dwell on dead people for too long. I guess, eventually, my curiousity will get the better of me, and I’ll go searching for that unknown family, but until then, I’m enjoying the one I don’t share DNA with… it seems to work best that way.
I am truly blessed, something I guess I don’t say enough.


