03.30.09
A Little Insight Goes A Long Way…
I don’t like seeing my own flaws in somebody else’s life… I don’t think anybody does. It emphasizes them, hyperbolizes them, and just drives me effing crazy! I watched Sex & The City (The movie) tonight, and although I loved it, I noticed one too many things in it that mirrored myself. Yeah, the shoes made me drool. I swear I said, “I love her shoes!” every scene change, which equated to every 3-5 minutes 
Anyway, never have I ever watched a movie that hit me so close to home that I wanted to cry. The last time I cried during a movie, I was watching Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron with my niece. No lie. However, the whoel thing between Carrie and Big with his fear of commitment and her taking over was just… made me think- except I couldn’t think because I was speechless. I just sat there, on the couch in my pjs and bridesmaid shoes (get there in a minute), forcing myself not to cry and/or point this out to Skip, who was in the office arguing with his accountant. However, I do believe the gender roles have reversed, which both freaks me out and makes me relieved that I am not the selfish one (*cough* I used to be though…).
I do believe this week will be a time of self-evaluation. I am going to take a good look at myself, and I will figure out what the F&!$ is going on that makes me so unhappy sometimes. At least I am not Samantha, ’cause I don’t think I could give up Bubby the way she broke up with her guy. After the movie ended (and I drained my wineglass), I tossed myself into Scott’s lap, kissed him, and told him that I was never going to leave him.
He laughed, made some highly raunchy remark about me showing up in his lap drunk, and then kissed me back saying something that I will never forget. “I would let you go if it made you happy, but I thank heaven everyday that you’re happy with me.” Isn’t he the best? I think that’s why I get into these funks. I feel like I don’t deserve a man who can be both demanding in what he wants, but he also gives in order to not scare me away. Personally, I have horrible timing and give when I’m supposed to demand and vice versa.
On a shallower note, my bridesmaid shoes are the shit. I don’t know why I never bought these shoes before, but they are mine now! I went a little crazy with the Blahnik’s because I bought three pairs of shoes, officially killing any thought of a spring vacation that I had been having. Blahnik is officially my favorite… well it’s a tight race with Louboutin and a few others
These are for the wedding. They were cheap compared to the other 2 that I got, and I have a thing for high heels with ankle straps. Besides, I’d rather have on shoes that it’s easy to get sand out of than have on pumps and still be shaking out sand 6 months later.
I will find a reason to wear these; I’ve seen some just like them and pined over them ever since they came out.
I finally got something in animal print. I feel so dirty for following this trend, but I look so good in them that any trend-following woe is instantly canceled out.
You do not want to know just how close I came to buying these babies, but they were too much of a star in Sex & the City… it went to their head 
With my obsession, I might as well start a fashion blog and throw in a personal post once a month. That’s what it feels like I do sometimes. I am now broke; Scott says I wear broke well… the ass. lol He won’t be laughing when he’s paying the rent next month, I’ll tell you now.
It’s amazing how we still haven’t merged our finances. I think we haven’t done so yet because he doesn’t want me to know just how Richie Rich he be, and I don’t want him to know that I have been slowly dabbling in my inheritance and not paying myself out of the bookstore. Bad economic times suck ass! This’ll be the last shoe binge I do for quite a while, which sucks. I am a shoe addict and proud of it. I can vintage clothing store shop like a pro mofo, but shoes are sacred. They go on your feet for God’s sake! I don’t want something on my feet that somebody else wore doing only God knows what. Boys and girls, I had to burst your bubbles but, you cannot get “life” out of satin pumps.
Side note: Bella, Halley, when you read this, voicemail swear your silence, love you guys
Off to watch Twilight again… don’t even get me started on this one.
Too bad I can’t be the woman who lives in a shoe (but no kids cause one would be more than what I would know what to do with ), cause then I would have more homes than Brad and Angelina.
03.26.09
Verbal Retardation
Everybody goes through this, right? You know, those moments… days… sometimes, months where you are just unable to get your mouth to form the words that you had so easily sent down that short neural pathway a mere moment before. (ok so i took quite a bit of psychology and anatomy before I learned just how lazy, and squeamish, I really was.)
Anyway, between allergies reducing me to muffled monotones and sleepless nights, it seems Scott sleep-elbows when he is having a hard time sleeping, I am one misunderstood being. With this new voluntary silence, I stay home for the most part im-ing Jesse all day. Besides, I get more done at home…. That’s a lie Skippy’s been at home too, so we’ve gotten nothing accomplished this past week, except maybe re-effing up my knee and giving each other minor concussions. He was showing me some of his martial arts moves, I threw in one of my WWE learned moves, and it went to hell in a bruised handbasket from there. But, it hasn’t all been decorating the home office and wrestling. I’ll say some of my wounds are from love, not war, and drop it there…
Uh Hum. Ah, yes, the home office. Well, we took my old desktop pc to the nearest Goodwill last week and painted Friday night. The walls are dark khaki, the chair rail and moldings are black, and the wall below the chair rail is black as well. The old futon guest bed went into storage, and he brought in this worn black leather couch that his cousin had supposedly been saving for him since after college. It looks clean and some scented leather oil perfected it. I already had a huge executive-looking black desk chair that I stole from a professor freshman year, so we just painted his big desk black and replaced the door pulls with pewter ones… perfecto!! I finished the room off with bright red throw pillows from this little textile store I know, some red desk essentials since all mine either got broken or ended up in my office at the store, and some black and white pictures.
I swear the tv could go in there, and we would never touch the main room again! We spent all day today in there, and it was heaven. Skippy working at the desk on his brand-spanking new laptop, and me sprawled on the couch with the dogs reading and trying not to think about the tax work that I’ve been semi-working on every evening.
Wedding mess is going well… for now. She hasn’t decided to start calling me at 4 in the morning freaked out about something like some other half bridezilla I knew, but the moment she does, I have her permission to hang up on her, storm her apartment, and kidnap her for 2 days… one day for the beatings and another for a spa day. I got my priorities straight even if my speaking is not. Skip’s new phrase is, “Mangle away, babe,” for every time I call “him” a “her”, Bella Halley and vice versa, and my favorite that i can remember right now: emphasis becomes em-phass-is. Yes, I do believe I was meant to be mute, but I was too stubborn to comply with my destiny.
Off to go watch some late-night tv and focus on not suffocating on the pollen-fueled shit congesting my head. Btw, who’s heard of Escape The Fate because I have now become obsessed with their song Situations. It’s just… funny. Happy late St. Patty’s with the green beer and Irish car bombs and all that lucky charms and green. Hope yours was the best you may never remember hehehe…
03.09.09
Snow White Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me
So, I am finally caught up on all of my lost sleep. When Scott got home from New York, he had a few days off in order to catch up, but all we did was hang around the apartment and sleep.
It snowed! I was THIS close to putting on a leather jumpsuit, pretending I was Storm, and go run around in the snow, but Scott just gave me a look that you don’t have to be telepathic to get. He’s such a spoilsport, even though I told him he could be Wolverine. It sounds insane and majorly dorky, but I was a major comic book geek (and then movie geek) when I was younger. I stick to non graphic novels now, but every once in a while, an old comic will come through the store, and I have to horde it in my office acting very Smeegle-like. HA! I knew I could fit a Lord of the Rings reference in there somewhere. Bella owes me 20 bucks!
Anyway, the wedding plans are coming along as smooth as pouring half-dried concrete. Nothing seems to be working out for her. The florist just called the other day and cancelled her order completely. So, she is freaking on a Major scale, but Halley is calling in her connections from her wedding soiree. On a brighter note, Halley and I have our dresses! We bought dresses for the party the night before the wedding. My party dress (in marine) is so pretty! I think Halley got this. She said she had to be different. Our bridesmaid dresses are in marine. (Hers) (Mine) Bella’s wedding dress is really similar to this. I can’t figure out where she got it, so I can’t get an exact picture of it, but this is mighty close. Now, I get to work on shoes. YAY!!!! I’m thinking silver or black, or one of us in one and another in the other. Bella’s wearing her heirloom pearls, Halley’s wearing flowers (the hippy), and I’m wearing THE ROCK! lol I think I might use up a pack of bobby pins on my hair and put it up in a bun-like do with flowers stuck all in it. I love flowers!
it has its own gravitational pull, I swear. Women flock to me now. The power went out during the snow, and Scott pointed the flashlight beam at it saying that it would light up the apartment. What a butthead! lol
I told Scott that all my fake diamonds feel hurt now. teehee. I’m just so happy! Life has leveled itself out, much like my erratic, crackhead-like sleep patterns have also done, so all if quiet on the Eastern front… for now.
Off to websurf for shoes and such
