01.31.08
Warning Readers! / Pictionary Is My Bitch
Here I was, just about to shut down my laptop for the night the other night when I get an email about a comment on the blog. A huge blast from the past came to me in the form of Lark. Lark started a blog called “Fucking Stranger” and somehow managed to find me in the universe of WordPress. Anyway, Lark was an underage stripper at the club where I bar-tended in college. She’s 2 years younger than me and tons more confident. I added her blog to my blogroll to keep in contact with her until I read the first post. Hello! I had to delete it and tell her that I’m that kind of person anymore. I think she deleted her blog and is going to LiveJournal or something. Drugs, alcohol, and one night stands were never my forte and never will be (except for the alcohol 
). I may have been able to hang out with her while I was in college, but she’s way too intense and wild for me. Happy medium I have found and give it up I will not. Good luck deciphering that unless a Star Wars fan you are. TeeHee
Anyway, moving on. Scott and I hosted a drunker version of game night at my apartment Saturday night. I got partnered up with Jesse’s boyfriend, Ray. He looked like an Abecrombie model, but he talked like Johnny Cash. I punched Scott’s arm as we began playing Pictionary. “Prepare to be defeated.”
He grabbed my butt, blanking out my mind like a blizzard. “I play dirty, love.” Darn him, if I didn’t love him so much I would knock him out most of the time for the stuff he says and does. It’s like being around a physically mature male with the success of a man in his thirties but the sexual mentality of a teenager at times. I guess its best to keep the inner child alive.
I thoroughly trounced them all despite the fact that Mr. Cash, as I’ve taken to calling this guy, couldn’t draw a square without it looking like a circle. I’m just kidding. We won because Pictionary is my Bitch! LOL
After some Trivial Pursuit and everybody voting against me on my odd Scattergories choices, we gave up on those games and went to poker. I terminated Jesse’s suggestion of strip poker as it left the gate, but I was outvoted and unclothed. Down to my skivvies of a bra and boyshorts, I waved my white t-shirt and got dressed faster than I ever had before.
We had sinfully good pizza, beer, and some homemade trail mix that Bella had made (I have no idea why she brought it- she gets domestic-like around that time of the month). Once everybody was gone, I got to show Scott just what playing dirty meant. I think his teenage mentality is rubbing off on me.
Signed,
The Redneck Pin-Up Girl 
01.27.08
Three Strikes Too Many
I kicked Jake out of my apartment yesterday. Go proactive me! He wasn’t paying rent, more of a squatter that one, and he has turned my apartment into a land of many smells. *gag*
As I was throwing his shit into the hallway, I was ranting and raving. “You weren’t this much of a slob when we were dating,” and “What the hell is wrong with you,” were some of the nicer, cleaner phrases I used. He can be sexy and tempting all he wants, but as I said in the previous post, people think I’m OCD, so my urge for a clean abode overrides any steamy daydreams.
I’m pretty sure I weirded Scott out when he came home late from work. He went to his apartment to drop off his bag and came over to see where I was, since I’m usually laying on his enormous leather couch when he gets off work. Anyways, he opened my door to see me scrubbing the kitchen floor in a pair of cut up sweat pants, a tank top, and my hair was pulled back with a million bobby pins (my hair has so many layers to it that even my hair brush gets confused)
“Okay…” he began with a grin on his face as he pulled off his tie. He wears the best looking ties, none of those weird ones my English professor in college wore with cars and/or women or something else on them. “If I wasn’t totally getting turned on by the short shorts and damp tank top, I would be freaked out by your insanely clean kitchen.” He sniffed. “Are you using bleach?”
“Jake isn’t living here anymore,” I responded leaning back into a crouch to wipe my forehead. “I was supposed to close the shop tonight, but I’m paying Jesse overtime to do it for me while I clean the entire apartment.”
Scott then grabbed my arm and helped me stand up. “Just chill out. Go take a shower in my apartment, put on some comfortable PJ’s and go to bed. I know you didn’t sleep any last night because I felt you get up a million times.”
He was right btw, darn him always being right. I’ve been worrying about what I was going to say to Jake because that’s the kind of person I am. My kindness always comes back to bite me in the ass, and I just grin and bear it while it happens. I didn’t want to give Jake the boot because he was once one of my closest friends, but it was time for him to get back on his feet.
Jake living in my place wasn’t all bad. On nights Scott was stuck at the office trying to meet a deadline, we caught up on old times. He even came by the store a few times to gush over what a success I’ve become. However, he’s as bad as Hauser (see Long Time No Harass) when it comes to awkward flirting, so it’s just as well that he is gone because if Scott ever knew that, the skinny boy/man would be just another stain on the pavement.
Speaking of stains, I have to suppress a shudder when I think about the state my carpets were in. Ingrained dirt, food, and other substances that I’d have to get the carpet tested to know what they were. A tire brush and some Resolve, along with tons of muscle, the carpets looked good again. Now, I remember why I haven’t had a roommate since college. Well, my head is still hurting from the cleaner fumes, so I’ll post again later.
As a last thought, I must wear those cut off sweatpants more often. I seem to have turned into a redneck pin-up girl in Scott’s eyes. hahahahahahaha……
01.25.08
75% Percent Of Women Do Surveys While At Work
I totally made that up, but hey, it sounds about right. Thanks for the tag eleanor!
Here are the rules:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share six (6) non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Six Things About Me
1. I can walk, talk, and listen all at the same time. I can completely weird out someone who gets mad at me for not listening by repeating everything they said. This goes along with my photographic memory and calculator brain.
2. I love to count things (anything and everything), have an addiction for filing and alphabetizing, and become a kleptomaniac around office supplies. People think I’m OCD
3. I was a bartender at a strip club all through college. (no that is not a secret language for being a stripper)
4. Everybody sticks their hands ( and feet) on me during the winter because I NEVER get cold.
5. In school, I was the invisible smart kid. Wasn’t the smartest and wasn’t the dumbest, so I disappeared in a crowd. However, once I lost a shitload lot of weight, I got confidence and a voice. Man, that voice was a hardcore bitch too! However, since I’m looking at the crack of darkness of 30, I’m at a happy median.
6. I constantly run out of things to say, but I’ve come to terms with this and have become so good at asking open-ended questions to a more talkative friend that nobody notices the transition.
I love surveys! Here are three great blogs that I like to keep up with: Gibson Guaranteed, My Soul Revealed, and Miss Print.
01.24.08
After Hours Read-A-Loud
aka Here’s to your comment gibsondog!
Btw, scott definitely has the whole man muscle flex thing! whew… sexy!
Anyway, before I go off on a tangent that would cause me to make this post password protected, I had the best day today. My stomach still hurts from where I’ve laughed for the past few hours. Why, you ask, did I almost bust a gut?
It all started this morning when I got a overwhelming shipment of books in today. Included in this sea of genres was a storage box from my mom. There was an estate sale she went to a few weeks ago, and they had this big library of books that was picked though. Of course, I got her to get me on the phone with the man who was running the sale. I asked him very nicely, and with minimum amount of flirting to get my way, if he would sell me the unsold books for a big lump sum. He laughed and agreed.
So, last week, he calls me back and sells me about 60 books for 40 bucks. I was like, HOLY SHIT wow what a deal, and happily mailed him a check. Well…. I opened the box, all giddy and excited, until I went through most of them and had to go in the office and shut the door. The box was full of nothing but frickin’ romance novels dating back to the (70s?)… hell I couldn’t tell you how old some of them were. I can tell you they were cheesier than the Kraft macaroni I used to eat as a kid.
After I cussed laughed cried calmed down, I went about my business and made a nice, pretty, $.99 rack for them. After I finished, I saw a few that looked might interestin’. I started reading one and gave myself a headache from forcing myself not to laugh out loud in front of all my customers.
As I was closing the shop, Bella and Halley came skipping (literally) up the street. They wanted to take me out drinking, even though they were half in the pot already, but I dragged them into the store instead. We pulled 3 of the comfiest chairs you’ve ever sat on in a big circle, and with the vodka and glasses they had with them, we took turns doing shots and reading the good parts.
Bella bought 4 of them to put in her locker at the hospital, so she could have some entertainment during a 48-hour shift. Halley bought a nice looking one about a soon-to-be nun and a civil war hero turned bandit. I came home to Scott with a few new ideas and a part of a bottle of vodka.
Well, Scott is glaring at my laptop as if his stare could melt a hole in it. Must go and see if I can find a movie to watch to keep his mind off things that might contribute to my growing quota of lost sleep. It’s nice to be happy again
01.22.08
Live From New York City
Or rather, I would be, if it weren’t for this crappy weather. To those who commented, thanks for the good advice. It’s kinda funny that I got really good advice from total strangers yet I haven’t told my closest friends. (They’ve been too busy to have a girls’ night) I called him after I sat in the bath for an hour, working up the courage.
The conversation started out sounding like an employee talking to her married boss the day after she slept with him. It was awkward…..to the nth degree. After some bland chit chat, I began my compromising by saying, “About the things we talked about before you left-”
He cut in with a smartass remark. “I thought you avoided confrontations.”
Fuming, I snapped, “I called to try to meet you halfway! I was going to try to talk to you about why we had fight!”
It’s funny how a little show of domination can make another person go into submissive mode. “I’m sorry I looked through your laptop. I was going to just check my email on it until I saw the folder that you had named Failures. Once I began reading I couldn’t stop.”
We talked for 3 hours. I don’t remember a lot of specifics, but I do remember that we both cried at one time or another. He got really upset that I didn’t trust him enough, which was a little unsettling to hear the emotions in his voice since I’ve never seen or heard a man like him cry. I got upset because he keeps pushing and pushing without ever asking me if I’m ready to move this fast.
He’s came home this morning. We each cut off our cellphones, laptops, and unplugged his telephone. We spent the day in his apartment because it is WAY too cold to go outside plus we needed the alone time without the distractions of everything else. At first, we tried to stay at opposite ends of the couch to prevent further confusing our heads, but it didn’t work.
I guess being so attracted to each other really helps mend the rips caused by the argument. We still don’t have the perfect relationship, but really, who does? We aren’t back to the way things were; instead we are moving slowly into a new evolved us that is going to be better, stronger, than the way things were. He told me some things that made me trust him more and more, but complete and utterly infalliable trust is unattainable this early in my relationship. Unconditional is a word not in my vocabulary, but humans are made to learn, grow, adapt, and evolve with the right amount of time.
I’m just hoping that he has the patience to give me the needed time. I think Bella and Halleey are taking bets as to when we’ll break up, but it’s all good-natured fun. At least it better be, or I’m gonna be posting from prison after I commit bodily harm upon them.
01.19.08
Paradise Lost… And Brokenheartsville Found
Would you believe me if I said I was too busy to blog? Of course not! I forgot about it. I mentioned it the other day to Bella and Halley, and we all shared a holy shit moment. I wish I could tell you new developements but there haven’t been any. My sister went back to her husband after a week of separation, so I’m the outcast of the family because I was pissed at her for going back. Nobody’s talking to me except Bella and Halley. Yeah, see I didn’t mention Scott. We had a huge fight the day before he was meant to go on a business trip to New York. He emailed me yesterday to say that he is being held up by the weather and work.
Neither of us has apologized or made the first move yet. I want to, but I feel that if I concede then he won’t get my point of the argument. The alienation started the week after we came back from Alabama. I spent all my time at my apartment cleaning (Damn you, Jake!), and when I wasn’t cleaning I was at Scott’s complaining like a 5-year old. Out of the blue, he stops me and says, “Are you writing any these days?”
I tried to come off nonchalant as I said no. “I haven’t felt like it.”
He stands up and storms into his kitchen. I follow, dumbstruck and confused, since I was expecting him to kiss me and make all my worries melt away on a cloud. “Why are you wasting your time, Caroline?” He demanded. “If I had part of your talent, I would have published multiple novels by now!”
I sputtered for a second. “Since when do you know if I have ‘talent’, bub?” Then, it hit me like a slow motion airplane crash. “Have you been reading my stuff without my permission?”
He nodded. “And even just being a magazine editor, I can see that it’s great work! Follow through on something!”
I scoffed. “Fine! I’ll follow through… on leaving!” I grabbed my clothes and slammed the door in my wake.
How dare he lecture me on my personal stuff?! He can criticize me on my business, my friends, my family, my clothes, anything, but to even bring up my writing without me ever showing it to him is the ultimate betrayal. I don’t trust anyone with my writing yet. As well as being shy, I am suspicious, distrusting, indecisive, and non commital. Although these attributes have held me back a lot, they’ve also saved me from tons of hurt and heartache.
If he had bided his time, I would’ve let him read it. I don’t even let my momma read my stuff! For him to sneak around to find things out about me makes me wonder, Why didn’t he just ask? It isn’t that hard to ask someone about themselves. He’s pushed his way into this relationship, now he’s gotta cruise smoothly and cautiously through the rest.
I don’t know what’s gonna happen with us now. I’m afraid to lose him from my life, but there are many things that need to be talked about before I’m able to try to get back to our happy times. I’m willing to try if he’ll make the first step to apologize for invading my privacy when asking would’ve done wonders.
Did I overreact? wait… stop it Lina! Stick to your guns!
01.05.08
Shut Up And Kiss Me
I just got back to Georgia early yesterday morning, so now I get to write about my drunken actions in Alabama.
Scott had us a room booked in this great hotel in town, which we spent time testing the room if you know what I mean . Arriving to his parents’ house fashionably late, we mingled and he introduced me to tons of his friends and close companions since forever. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that he managed to make all his married “bros” extremely jealous with me.
My dress went over better than I would have ever expected. Let’s just say Scott was the one that made us late to the party and leave it at that.
The dress linked in my previous post plus a pair of black heels made me feel very self-confident. So confident that I drank way too much and danced like a fool when nobody else was. Thankfully, all the other guests were half in the hole also. It was nice. Booze, great hour devours, great company, plenty of talking junk and cutting up, and even the occasional corner couple making out was the equation of a perfect evening.
Just before the countdown began, a very drunk Scott found me hiding and checking my email and such. He began rambling on about something, and he wouldn’t shut up. He was talking so much that when the ball dropped, I had to grab him and kiss him to shut him up. It turned into a even better kiss. Then, he mentioned ringing the new year in… in style. That night also reminded me why I never wear short skirts anymore; it’s a good thing Scott was the only one who has eyes for me or there would be bloodshed. “Alpha-male” my behind.
Yesterday was my recovery day. Meaning, I spent the day in Scott’s with a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water. Poor thing had to go to work; he looked like someone had built a landfill over his grave. Today, however, he was bright-eyed and annoying all over again. He told me that his resolution was to be open to love and commitment, plus a few that he was keeping secret. Eeek!
Speaking of resolutions, here are mine: (so far)
1.) Be more open to new ideas.
2.) Kick out my squatting roommate. (He’s not paying any rent, and he is making my nice apartment into a place FEMA wouldn’t even touch)
3.) Quit spending all my money on books and designer clothing.
4.) Quit stealing Halley’s clothes.
5.) Don’t let Scott get me fat with his fabulous cooking!
6.) Go to the gym and the park more often.
7.) Get more sleep. (I make this one every year, and never occasionally achieve)
8.) Do not let past relationships and friends cloud my vision and hurt my present relationship.
2007 was a dramatic roller coaster and sure did take its toll on me. Nonetheless, I will learn from past mistakes and manage my life a little better. At least I know I’m growing as a person. Who’d have thought a relationship would do that to me after all these years?
*By the way, as an afterthought (because I don’t know how I managed to forget), Dawgs kicked islander ass, and I got to cheer and whoop in front of a bunch of Auburn fans. OH YEAH!
