12.30.07
Rockin’ Out Like It’s 1989!
Well, I was only 11 in 1989, but 1999 was not the best year for me.
Scott and I are leaving to go to his family’s house tomorrow. We would’ve left today, but I couldn’t leave the store on one of the busiest Saturdays of the year. We’ll be staying at a hotel near his parents’home because I insisted and his relatives will be there in force… again. They better stock up real good, because I will be drinking myself under the table during the FOUR days that we are spending in Alabama.
I’ve packed all my jeans, none of my slacks or designer heels, and a dress for New Year’s Eve that Scott hasn’t seen yet. I imagine his jaw will be somewhere near the floor when he sees it. After Scott told me that the New Year’s Eve party was more than just family and that I needed to dress up that one night, I spent all night online looking for the perfect party dress. He woke up one time during that night, and once he figured out what I was doing, murmured, “I love your legs, honey.”
Then, I found it… Of course, I took the contrasting camisole out because I wanted to make an impression. Part of my black strapless bra will be visible in the front, but it’s not in the back… I tried it on and checked when I first got it. Let’s just say it definitely shows off my legs- even if they aren’t as tan as they should be. (no bending over either)
Georgia is going to stay with Halley and Edward until I get back. Her and Wednesday get along so well that it’s scary. Wednesday likes to act like a puppy to around Georgia, but she acts like the mama around me. My dogs are conspiring against me, I know it.
Shit!! I just realized that I’ll have to watch the Sugar Bowl in a room full of Auburn fans. Just great… I’ll have to bite my tongue and drink beer. Although I know he is secretly a firm UGA fan, he went to Auburn and has some loyalties there too. That’s why we are spending a few days apart when the time rolls around when the two teams finally play each other again. That’s if we’re still dating come football season next year.
Must remain optimistic. Must not look for flaws where none present themselves. Ohm… 
I’ll post as soon as we get back from Alabama. Until then, Happy New Year’s too all. Seen you in 2008!
Holidays- DOA
I am SO behind!!!! Lately, the only thing that I’ve managed to keep up with is my schedule at the hospital. On Christmas Eve, I managed to piss off my resident, Jack, and the chief resident. (hey, when I bite it- I bite it hard )
My resident and his boss were pissed because nobody wanted to work the holidays, and I was being the most vocal and adamant in the matter of my plans. Meaning, I went through my boss to his boss to beg for Christmas off. I don’t suggest it….. Ever. I got a good long lecture and yelling-at, which made me even less prepared for Jack’s feelings.
He hates me working all the time. If it were completely up to him, we’d be living in Seattle, and I wouldn’t be working. His equation also has marriage in its immediate future. My co-workers say I’m crazy for dragging him along like I am and not being married to him yet. I am a commitment phobe. Decisions that affect others than myself scare me into hysterics, and nobody seems to understand that I might need more time than normal people to make sure things will last.
Jack told me that he would wait for me as long as it took for me to face myself, but he wants the world and more. I have no desire to have children, a sentiment which Halley, Lina, and I all share. My biggest fear is that he will become someone else’s Jacket. Someone who will be there when he gets home from his work trips. Someone who will tuck their children in at night before snuggling up on the couch with him. Someone who can wash clothes without ruining them, cook a meal with enough spices and flavoring, and not cringe at the slightest mention of social functions and family get-togethers.
I think I need a therapist. Darn you Lina! You should’ve become one like you planned instead of changing your major to humanities and foreign languages.
Anyway, Jack was so angry that I couldn’t get off work. We spent Christmas at arms length. He gave me an extremely expensive scarf from Italy, a ruby teardrop pendant with matching earrings, and Jim Butcher’s new book, Captain’s Fury.
I gave him a knitted blanket made of plush yarn of the softest charcoal color you could imagine. If you were wondering, yes, I did knit this full-bed-sized blanket. I worked on it all year, each time he went out of town. I gave him silver cufflinks, each in the shape of a shield with his family’s crest engraved on it. I also gave him a new leather portfolio and datebook.
After we exchanged gifts, (which was almost the day after Christmas and only not then because I drove like a mad cab driver) we hugged and were officially made up. Our “cold war” lasted a week, which has been our longest tiff since we first got together. Our ten-year anniversary will be the year I turn 31; he’ll be 36 that year.
-Now, just a few words for my friends that I hardly ever get to see anymore. Lina, you got a good one there, but be careful. He’s a fast mover, but then again, so are you. Halley, my favorite firefly, stay away from the exercise classes and go to some cooking or knitting classes. If anything, go befriend Edward’s mother and learn basic sewing because that is just pathetic, not knowing how to use a needle and thread at all.
-Bella (the phobic)
12.27.07
Puppy Dog Tails
As I type this post, I am being constantly interrupted by my belated Christmas present from Scott. I woke up this morning not being able to breathe. Once I figured out that there was something lying across my face, and that it was alive, I quite flailing like a fish out of water. Scott was sitting on the bed laughing himself to death. He must have played sports because he caught the flying furball when I threw it at him. (I’m not the nicest person first thing in the morning) He told me that the puppy just turned old enough for him to register it and make everything nice and legal. I love being involved wth someone who is as much of a goody-two-shoes as I am!
“What the hell?” I shouted, then gave him my best apologetic look as he held up a tiny Boxer puppy.
We decided on naming it Georgia. It was a compromise, since he wasn’t having anything to do with her being named Uga. He likes to act ridiculous to make me think I’m getting my way.
Now, I have to take her to work with me everyday because there is no way she is staying in my apartment unsupervised. Jesse is now my puppy nanny. She gets to run around after her in the shop and clean up any surprises as well as do her normal job. Good thing I gave her a good Christmas bonus even though she’s only been working for me a few months.
Argh! I can’t do anything with Georgia in my lap, crawling on me, stepping on my keyboard, and whining when I put her down. I have an idea! Scott gets shared custody on the evenings we don’t spend together! That’s not many evenings but it’s enough for me to safe my skin and my sanity. I wonder if dogs can read because the little downy-soft nightmare just disappeared. Ah well, I’ll find her sooner or later since she’s got a catbell on her collar. Bella, you are a genius and my saviour for that little idea
12.26.07
Christmas On The Beach
Waking up at an ungodly hour for the second day in a row was just the beginning of this year’s nightmares. Somehow, well… maybe I know how, Scott manged to talk me into taking him with me when I drove down to Savannah to spend Christmas with my family. As we are still in the I-hate-to-let-him-see-me-before-I-brush-my-hair stage of our relationship, I shot out of bed when my alarm went off in order to be out of the shower when he woke up.
We took his truck since it could hold more presents. Plus, mine hardly gets any use anymore because I walk everywhere, take a cab, or ride with a friend; I was afraid it either wouldn’t start or break down. I got to drive down there, mainly because I knew the highways rather than the fact that Scott was the DD for the drive back.
Arriving at my parents’ home on the outskirts of downtown Savannah, I rushed in to give heads up and allow my mom time to fill in my dad while we unloaded the truck. My 2 sisters and their families were already hunkered down in the living room waiting for present time, so when Scott grabbed my hand at the back of his truck I almost snapped at him. That is, until I saw the look on his face. “I know things are moving really fast with us, and it freaks you out quite a bit, but I just wanted to say how much you meeting my family and me meeting yours means to me.”
I had to swallow tears, kiss him, and run into the house before I began bawling. Things kind of went like a roller coaster from there. My dad talked the entire evening, bringing up things that have been talked to death years ago; me, my mom, and one of my sisters got tipsy on strawberry daiquiris. After a few drinks, all I wanted to do was drive a few miles to the beach and bury my toes in the sand. (who cares is it was only 50-something degrees out? I’m surrounded by concrete most of my days)
Of course, I gave everybody books and gave my sisters each a Coach bag that was out of style to most fashion know-it-alls, but you couldn’t tell because they would go with just about anything. (I wear stuff thats out of style with things that are in style and nobody’s the wiser) Most of what I got for Christmas was movies, pajamas, and food. Although my mom did get me this egyptian cotton sheet set that I had to wink at Scott over. I lamost forgot to mention the diamond necklace and right-hand ring Scott gave me.
When I first got to the box, I had a slight anxiety attack until he opened it and put it on my right hand. Everybody laughed at me as I turned 6 different shades of red. “Give it a few more months,” he whispered in my ear so nobody else would hear him. Jee whizz golly wolly, knock me on the head with a feather and I’ll fall out. This guy is intense!! But, I know I love it, so no deer in headlights yet.
My dad has officially accepted Scott into our family. He invited him to go hunting, fishing, and work on his truck with him. The funny thing is, he hasn’t done that with my oldest sister, Annette’s, husband. Maybe that’s because we all want to righteously kick his ass while smiling in his punk face. Elizabeth’s husband fielded his daughter’s hyperactiveness while discussing ways to cook, serve, and eat deer meat.
Sometime after presents and before dinner I had to go lay down on my parents’ bed. I think I got Jesse’s frickin’ cold. That’s just great. Now I get to wake up to a fever and the worst headache you could possibly imagine on top of Jake always turning down my heaters. Men are so stupid sometimes.
Scott and I got back to our building at 2 in the morning. I opened my apartment door to Jake holding the phone out to me. “Anette had moved out of her house. She’s moving back to y’all’s parents’ house tonight.”
I sighed and grabbed the half-gallon of milk and the homemade candy my mom sent home with me. “I’ll be at Scott’s. I’ll deal with it after the sun comes up.”
I still haven’t dealt with it. Jesse is taking all my calls for the time being while I enjoy the remainder of my holidays. Hope everybody had a great Christmas and has a Happy New Year
12.24.07
Grandma Takes The Highway
OH. MY. GOD. I thought my family was a little strange… Scott’s family is worse than strange. It’s just downright…. I don’t even have a word for what they are.
When we first got to his parents’ house, I felt like Dorothy after the tornado. I had changed into nice slacks and a pretty blouse once we entered state lines (much to the enjoyment of other drivers), but I wished I had kept on my track pants and UGA hoodie. The house was nice; it’s a beautiful old-style country farmhouse… huge house.
All the relatives came out to unload the presents we had packed into Scott’s Tahoe sport while a few of the others oohed and aahed over me. I cowered under his arm until we entered the house. I escaped to the kitchen, where his mom was elbow-deep in flour. I sat at the table, where Scott handed me a small glass of what turned out to be bourbon. “Trust me, you’ll want it.”
I downed it and sat there, listening to the noises coming from the rest of the house. The kitchen seemed like the safest and calmest place until his mom, Janine, put her pie in the oven. She wiped her hands and turned to me as if to say, “I’ll get you my pretty!”
Sitting down next to me, Janine proceeded to interview me like I was applying for NASA. After the interrogation, Scott returned with a line of people following behind him. He introduced each relative in an orderly fashion. as he finished with his nephew, Chris, he bellowed, “Where’s Grandma?” Now, he fits in with the rowdy bunch.
I looked around, repeating the question to Chris. Chris smiled at me and said, “Grandma took the highway.”
Janine snatched Chris up, tensely smiling. “Frank’s (Scott’s father) mother got sick a few years ago. She lives with us now since all the kids have moved out.”
I looked at Scott for more explanation, so he sighed. “Grandma smokes medical marijuana,” he whispered. “Whenever she goes out into the woods to smoke, we tell the young’uns that she’s taking the high way.” He looked at me, pleading me with his eyes not to run from the house screaming.
Instead, I laughed. “That’s a good one. Who thought that up?”
“That’d be me,” answered a deep voice in the doorway. “Frank ____”
I shook the extended hand, which is so much like Scott’s, and got yanked into a bone-snapping hug. I’m not a small, frail girl by any means; these guys are just so much bigger than me. It’s a little overwhelming to be in the middle of so much testosterone and… maleness. Frank was a older, grayer, rougher, hairier version of Scott. I could picture girls swooning for him in the good old days just as well as I could see Scott ruling his school.
After an early dinner, held in a dining room the length of a small bowling alley, presents were unwrapped and the beer came out by the case. Scott drank with his brothers, uncles, cousins, and anybody else who was in arm’s reach, so I took over DD duty. I had to get back to Atlanta to get some sleep before I drove down to Savannah for my own family’s Christmas.
Things went way better than I thought they would. He comes from a country background, but in the South, who doesn’t? His relatives left me alone for the most part. I think some people were either shy or intimidated. I can’t wait until the New Years Party; Scott and I are driving over for a few days, so I get to drink as much as I want and find out what he and his relatives really think of me. yay… I can’t wait.
12.23.07
Couple Mode and Spazzy Jazz
Scott and I are officially in couple mode, and it hasn’t even been 3 months!! I haven’t gone out with the girls since that night before we started the blog. wow…. I’ve had so much more energy now that I’m not staying out until 3 getting drunk anymore. Gasp! Am I maturing? Don’t tell anybody, ok?
I was walking Wednesday yesterday when my good friend Jake came jogging up. Jake was my boyfriend in college, and now we have a brother/sister friendship. Oh who am I kidding??!! Jake looks like Matthew McConaughey, and I was lucky enough to have an English class with him. He’s a lean, not-so-mean, hot machine. I had to mentally slap myself and picture my chunk of muscle who was baking cookies.
Anyways, I stopped, hugged Jake hard while trying not to ogle or grab him, and listened to him as he asked me questions about my life at the speed of light. He paused when I told him that I had a boyfriend, and yes, things were kind of serious. We were sharing a slightly awkward silence when he suddenly asks if he can move into my apartment!!!
I think I stopped breathing for a second as he explained that the publishing company he wrote and was editor for went through the motions of a cut back and fired him. Now, he’s losing his apartment and needed a place to stay. “I was going to call my college roommate, but since I bumped into you. Please take pity on one of your best friends!!!!”
Sighing, I nodded slowly, knowing my over-developed sense of charity and niceness would come to snap me in the ass one day.
He moved his stuff into my home office today, making it into a cramped bedroom. I came home late from the store, ready to change into some ratty jammies and lay on the couch with Scott. Did that happen? No. We had just put in Stardust, and snuggled in to not watch the movie when this loud, annoying, and just plain weird music came blasting out of Jake’s new bedroom.
“What the hell was that?” Scott shouted as he sprang off of the couch. I sat in awe. How could a man that tall and such move so quickly and… well… nimbly?
“That’s my new roommate, Jake.” At his enraged look, I quickly explained the whole shibang to him. He banged on Jake’s door. When it opened, Scott stuck out one large, callused hand. “Hi, I’m the boyfriend. What are you listening to? It sounds like an epilectic playing multiple instruments during a seizure”
I smacked my forehead and ran over to them before they began growling at each other.
“It’s new-age, alternative jazz. Some friends of mine started a jazz band; they play in New York. They sent me a copy of their demo.”
I looked back and forth between Scott and Jake. Damn! My tastes have changed!! Jake is lean, wiry and handsome, but looks very scholarly at times. Scott is tall, ginormous, hot, and looks like an ad for Wrangler Jeans or Ford Trucks. There is a major difference between them that has nothing to do with physical appearance. I had to chase Jake. Scott was there like a brick wall I ran into. (there is a compliment towards scott in there somewhere
I used the remote in Jake’s hand to shut off his stereo. “No new-age in my apartment, bub.”
He nodded, a mischievious glint coming into his eyes. “No bringing home dates then.”
I looked at Scott, grinned, and nodded. “Fine.”
Slipping into my houseshoes, I grabbed Scott’s hand, the Stardust DVD, and the container of Christmas cookies. “See you tomorrow, roomie.” And I was down the hall to Scott’s apartment. Aren’t I just the meanest ex- girlfriend on Earth. Muahahahaha 
I have to go to Alabama with Scott tomorrow. He’s dragging me out of bed at 5 in the morning to spend Christmas Eve with his family. Somebody! Shoot! Me! Now!
12.21.07
Deck The Halls
I know it’s been a week and some change since I’ve posted, but I have a completely true, you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up, excuse. I am the type of person who will never stop learning. I learn from schools, adult college courses, had a private teacher at one time, and spend tons of money on specified courses every year. This year my passion was yoga and kickboxing. It just so happens, my kickboxing and yoga classes are back to back. Real smart of me, huh?
I had just come from my last kickboxing class where we actually had had a competition going. I came in 2nd place… Damn you Joey for decking me when I was distracted. I was tired, and my legs felt like jello, but I was on an adrenaline high, so I floated the 5 blocks to my yoga class.
I’m not as good with yoga as I am with kickboxing. I have a never-ending well of energy, which comes in handy during hand-to-hand combat, but is a deal-breaker when holding a pose that stretched muscles I never knew I had for five minutes.
I knew something bad was going to happen as soon as I noticed the grin on my instructors face. As usual, I was right. He (yes my instructor is a dude- one with long black hair that I envy with the fire of a thousand suns and symbolic tattoos- he also fit and very hunky )Anyway, he showed us the Firefly Pose. WTF!!! Does anybody really expect me to be able to do this shit?! After fighting the giggles as I watched a particularly older yoga student pull their limbs up and hold the pose, I felt the teacher standing behind me. “Come on, Halley,” he remarked boisterously, making me want to boisterously punch him in the gut.
Finally, I worked up the nerve to balance myself on my hands and stick my legs out like I was supposed to. I was mentally patting myself on the back when I pitched forward, got tangled in my long legs, and ate mat… hard. In my head, I heard a voice say, “Hit the deck,” and laugh loudly. (stupid chidrens’ game- to the land, to the sea) My instructor immediately rushed over to help me lie flat so I wouldn’t hurt myself while getting my legs back in their proper place. I laid there on my mat for a few moments before jumping up and running out of the room. I’m usually very outgoing, but when I get embarrassed, it’s bad.
Now, Edward’s flitting around the apartment calling me his graceful little firefly that flew into the bug zapper while I curse him with my good eye. I have a shiner where I went face first onto the floor. Oh my God, Lina and Bella are never going to let me live it down… Merry flippin’ Christmas everybody if I don’t make it to posting again before then.
12.16.07
Happy Birthday Mr. President…
Well, not really. It was actually my birthday, or is my birthday. Past-tense, present-tense, who cares. I’m officially 29 years old. If I’m still blogging next year, you readers will get to here about how I will get trashed and wasted and make out and be ridiculously inappropriate with a hottie that is younger than me. (or so all my female friends seem to tell me this is what I will do.)
So, here I am. Pondering another year gone by, watching Scott sleep the evening away after eating a humongous turkey club sandwich. I should be sleeping myself after the birthday surprise I got last night.
The clock had just struck midnight, and I was staring at the 3-foot tall UGA themed Christmas tree in my bedroom when I got a phone call from a friend I haven’t seen in years. She sang “Happy Birthday Mr. President” to me in a breathy, slurring voice, laughed and hung up. I got texts and emails from friends, employees, former classmates. I had just finished grinning my face off from all the warm well-wishes when my doorbell rang. I opened the door to little potted peach tree saplings lining the hall and a trail of candles leading back to Scott’s apartment, which I had just left after dinner a few hours before.
Grinning, I walked out of my doorway to trip over a small towering of little black boxes, each one having “Open Me” along with a number written in silver ink on the top. Did I get a winner or what? I crouched down and opened one after another. I got scraps of lace that I later figured out to be lingerie (eek – I’m a self-conscious person), a key with a red ribbon tied to it, a heart key-chain (seems I got a cheesy winner), a gift certificate to Dooney & Burke (a new purse? hell yeah!), and a red sticky-note with an I.O.U. for a non-disclosed event. At least he knows my favorite color.
I took my findings down the hall to his apartment, where he was waiting with glasses of champagne. I asked how he found out my birthday, and, grinning mischievously in way that makes my mind go blank even thinking about it, replied, “A little birdie told me that I’d better do something good for your birthday or she’d break my kneecaps.” (That’d be Bella- she watches the Sopranos way too much.)
Well, we drank a lot of champagne, and he explained the gifts that weren’t totally obvious. The key is a spare to his apartment. I controlled myself in order not to hyperventilate and pass out. I haven’t known this guy for that long and this is all moving too fast. Makes me dizzy and flustered like a good roller coaster. A key?! *deep breaths* He even mentioned taking me to see his parents on Christmas. Maybe I should just tell him that this is all going fast and he needs to slow his roll. Wow… This is the first time in my adult life where I have been the slower one in the relationship. Its oddly disconcerting, yet highly relieving that it wasn’t always me moving too quickly and scaring someone away. (Guys: quit freaking out over the small stuff- pick your flippin’ battles)
Ugh! So confused! I thought maybe typing it all out would help organize my thoughts, but it just drudged up even deeper rooted issues and fears than the ones on the surface. Well, Damn……. Guess no sleep for me tonight.
Ooh, scott just woke up. I don’t think he wants to talk though. Man, he just grinned at me. What was I saying again?
12.15.07
Long Time, No Harass
Okay, so I have this dude that comes into my shop ALL the time. He comes in, flirts with the employees, buys something, drinks a cup of coffee, and struts into my “private” office like he owns the place. He owns the building next door actually Anyway, he is the biggest flirt in a cowboy hat if I ever saw one. He’s originally from Texas and owns a ranch near the Mexico border. Let me tell you… The man is made of money. He is also big on “innocent” sexual harassment.
I haven’t seen him around for a while, so when he came into the store this morning, I checked for epidermis showings and marched up to him in my stolen (from Halley) Gucci boots. “Hauser, so nice to see you!” I greeted with a semi-fake smile planted on my face.
“Shug! It’s nice to hear that you missed me.” Like I’d ever say THAT. However, he is my best customer. “I got some news.”
I grinned hopefully. “You’re going to sexually harassing me and all my female employees?!” Score one for the bookworm! I heard my new assistant (yes I forgot to say that I FINALLY found a decent girl in all of the greater Atlanta area- her name is Jesse) start laughing from her folding table desk in my office. It’s a little cramped in there until I can make another space for her.
“It’s not sexual harassment; it’s much-needed attention that you ladies don’t get enough of! Why would I ever stop that?” He paused, blinding me with his perfect white teeth. “Actually, I wanted to tell you that I’m back on the market if you were ever lonely one evening.”
My jaw dropped for a millisecond until a familiar warming voice interrupted. “I don’t think she’ll be taking that offer, Brandon.”
Scott did a little strutting of his own as he walked over to us to wrap his arm around my waist. “Hey babe.”
I looked up at his smiling face, a little shell-shocked. “H-h-hey.” I’ve been single for a Long time. Coming up on 30 in the near future has scared me until Scott came along. He’s 2 years older than me and is just mature enough to keep me sane and satisfied. Now, with 2 guys competing (well they’re not competing- Hauser just thinks he is) it’s a little unnerving. “See you around, Hauser. If I find a girl that you would like, I’ll send her your way.”
Jesse scurried from her desk, grinning like crazy. “That’s the man you told me about? Wow!” Jesse is 21, a little naive, and very inexperienced. But, the girl can field calls and set up my schedule like a madwoman. She can file, and do other multitudes of things, but the OCD person I am when it comes to office organization, I told her it was better left to me. No more 30 minutes dealing with emails and orders anymore. I showed her the system and she doles it all out to the employees. I get more time with Scott now. Yippee!
Speaking of scott, how does he know Hauser? Why do I have to think of these things? Must go call him right away…
12.07.07
I’m Not A Workaholic!!
Who would guess the gallery I work at would get busy? Not me that’s for sure. I took the job straight out of college for the experience before I went to work in journalism, but years later and I’m still here.
Maybe I actually like the job…. *hysterical laughing* whew that was a good one. Well, I have learned to love it like one loves a cat that scratches the living hell out of you before purring and rubbing against you like you are made of catnip.
Christmas, and Lina’s Birthday, are just around the corner. Every year, she thinks we forget that her birthday is right after Christmas and reminds us that she doesn’t combine our Xmas and Bday gifts, and we shouldn’t either That would be my biggest pet peeve too if I was her.
I have no idea what to get her! The woman has everything she’d ever wanted now. (if she were any more luminous I would paste wings on her and stick her on top of my tree)
Speaking of luminous, I can seem to stop looking at my ring. It looks like it could light up a small country, but I love it. Am I becoming shallow and materialistic? Oooh, shiny…
Back to Earth, my condo looks like it stepped out of a Southern Living magazine. Where did I get the time to create this masterpiece? Coffee, sugar, and other things to make my nutritionist (now fired) gasp and fall out of her chair.
Well, seeing as I’m still at work even though my boss is long gone, I will post more later.
*Hal- ooh something shiny
